How to Prepare for the First 40 Days with your Baby
Preparing for something you've never experienced before can feel overwhelming, especially when it comes to welcoming your new baby. Think of the first 40 days (also the postpartum period) as an extraordinary journey to an unexplored destination. Just like planning for a trip to a foreign land where the climate, cuisine, and accommodations differ from home, you might pack items you won't need while overlooking essentials. The postpartum period, particularly for first-time parents, follows a similar pattern of unpredictability. Your world will transform in ways that are difficult to anticipate: your body will undergo changes, your hormones will create emotional waves, and your sleep patterns will shift dramatically. You'll experience a spectrum of feelings - from intense love to anxiety, from physical discomfort to overwhelming joy - as you learn to navigate your new role as a mother.
The best thing for expectant parents is to focus on controlling the controllable aspects of this transition. Start by preparing your physical environment for your baby's arrival. Stock your freezer with nourishing meals, fill your pantry with easily accessible snacks, and ensure your refrigerator contains foods you can manage with one hand (trust me, this will be crucial!). Equally important is establishing a reliable support network before your baby arrives. This network can provide invaluable assistance, from handling household chores like vacuuming to delivering fresh groceries, from offering breastfeeding guidance to providing emotional support during challenging moments.
My mission is to revive the traditional concept of genuine postpartum rest and recovery in our modern context. While not everyone has access to full-time postpartum care or the ability or mindset to have family members provide extended support, thoughtful preparation can bridge this gap effectively. Scientific research consistently shows that adequate postpartum support significantly impacts both maternal and infant outcomes [1].
Whether you're expecting your first baby or adding to your family, this guide aims to equip you with practical strategies for those initial weeks with your newborn. First-time mothers may find it challenging to fully grasp what lies ahead, while experienced mothers can refine their existing postpartum strategies.
Create a Sanctuary
Begin by creating a nurturing sanctuary in your home - a calm, comfortable space where you can spend extended periods without disruption. This space will become your command center during those precious early days with your little one and should include:
Adjustable lighting for various needs (from nighttime feedings to midday rest), a battery operated dim string light makes the nights cozy and not too overwhelming and can always be within reach.
A convenient side table with ample space for essential items (glasses or bottles for hydration, snacks, baby care supplies)
Easy access to comfort items (tissues, moisturizer, towels, phone charger)
Temperature control for your comfort
Minimal external disturbances
A waterproof, washable bed mat to soak up the variety of liquids that you will be confronted with and protect your bedding and mattress (baby poop, urine, blood etc.) sounds gross but is a game changer in feeling safe.
2. Build Your Support Network
Establish clear boundaries for visitors during your postpartum period. Don't hesitate to communicate your preferences about who can visit and when. Having trusted individuals who can assist with essential tasks like laundry, grocery shopping, meal preparation, or taking your baby for a brief walk while you shower can make a significant difference. While your partner will likely be your primary support, having backup assistance is crucial. Consider setting up practical services like weekly grocery delivery, prepared meal services, or housekeeping support. Even if these services seem unnecessary now, it's better to have them arranged and cancel if unused rather than struggling when you need help. Every moment of rest, recovery, and self-care contributes to your ability to bond with and care for your newborn.
3. Plan Your Nourishment Strategy
Organize your food resources thoughtfully. Stock your pantry and freezer with easily digestible foods that you can consume comfortably while resting. Focus on nutrient-dense options that require minimal preparation and can be eaten with one hand. Consider subscribing to grocery delivery services or meal preparation boxes. Prioritize foods like nourishing bowl meals, well-constructed sandwiches, herbal teas, protein-rich smoothies, mixed nuts, and wholesome granola bars.
4. Manage Social Expectations
Understand that hosting visitors might feel overwhelming, and venturing outside might seem daunting. Remember that there's no obligation to introduce your baby to anyone during this sensitive period. However, identify supportive individuals who can provide comfortable companionship when needed - whether for sharing a quiet cup of tea, watching the baby while you shower, or accompanying you on a gentle walk when you're ready. It's perfectly normal, and even beneficial, to remain home-bound for several weeks. Traditional Chinese postpartum practices, for instance, recommend staying indoors for the first four weeks after birth. Embrace this protective bubble around you and your newborn.
Supporting Partners During the First 40 Days
For partners, the profound reality of parenthood often crystallizes upon holding your newborn for the first time. Despite witnessing the pregnancy journey through ultrasound images and feeling movements, full comprehension typically arrives with your baby's physical presence. This marks your initiation into parenthood, bringing dual responsibilities: supporting your recovering partner while navigating your own adjustment to this life-changing experience.
If maintaining work commitments, minimize additional responsibilities like non-essential travel or extra meetings. Keep your colleagues informed about your home situation to manage expectations. Maximize your time at home, and if possible, utilize available parental leave options to fully engage in this crucial period.
This transformative period brings a mix of wonder and challenge as you step into your new role. While you don't carry the physical recovery burden of birth, your emotional journey as a non-birthing parent deserves equal attention. Your body undergoes its own hormonal shifts, contributing to fatigue, while your brain works overtime processing new responsibilities. The learning curve is steep, requiring significant mental and emotional energy as you adapt to parenthood's demands and discoveries.
References:
White, L. et al.: The impact of postpartum social support on postpartum mental health outcomes during the COVID-19 pandemic'. 2022. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00737-023-01330-3 (2024)
